Sarah Eiley
CHAKTI Yoga transformed my feelings about exercise and my beliefs about my body’s abilities. Exercise was horribly embarrassing and traumatic my whole life. I’m not an athlete or into competitive sports and I felt inadequate growing up because I didn’t play sports or do dance. I have hated my body my entire life…depression, disordered eating, weight gain, weight loss, weight loss surgery, transformation, then lots of babies and the demands that caused on my body. But I never learned to have a healthy relationship with exercise or any form of movement. Yoga in itself is gentle and graceful and noncompetitive in a way that made it feel approachable for me as a form of exercise. I’ve enjoyed the mindfulness and breath practice that’s essential to yoga for many years, mind/body/spirit practices, etc, but I still was afraid of public exercise classes, felt embarrassed, timid.
Before taking CHAKTI classes I had never done anything cardio that didn’t actually trigger a traumatic response. Just getting red-faced or breathless would trigger a panic attack for me for years because it mentally/emotionally took me back to being the chubby girl in middle school who was humiliated to be out of breath in front of athletic peers.
When I started going to these classes I hadn’t taken care of my body for a decade while raising babies, except for eating well for the purpose of pregnancy or breastfeeding. I hadn’t ever done anything just for me and my body and my own health. So just the act of carving an hour out for myself once a week was a totally radical thing. I had never done a hard workout that put celebrating your body’s ability above punishing your body into submission or competing athletically. I had never been happy while exercising. Like ever, in my life! These classes are SO POSITIVE and encouraging, imagine spending an hour with a cheerleading team.
The music is loud, the class is packed, the energy in the room is joyful and everyone- all different ages and shapes and abilities, is cheering each other on. There is also incredible detail in the sequencing of movements that wakes up each system of the body throughout the practice. It’s a combination of High Intensity Interval Training, traditional Kundalini Yoga Kriyas, cardio and guided meditation at the end.
And yep, in CHAKTI classes there’s raunchy music and twerking, and that’s a whole other layer of dismantling body and sexuality shame in a safe environment, celebrating sensuality and unlocking blocked energy. It’s very empowering to dance and move without it being a performance or feeling vulnerable in some sketchy dance club. What happens on your mat is just for you. It’s a reclamation of bodily autonomy and expression. Also, I just have to add that twerking is not just some sexy dance move- it’s a full body workout. When I started class I had so much weakness in my abdominal wall and pelvic floor from having 4 babies, I was actually a candidate for surgery. I have completely healed rectocele and cystocele prolapses and diastisis recti 3 finger separation in my abdomen- all by working out this way with a huge focus on building core strength. My physical therapist couldn’t believe how much healing I accomplished in a year, and now I’m going on 3 years of attending classes and feel so strong.
Growing up in purity culture I was taught to fear what the body is capable of. Movement like this flips that narrative of the “sinful flesh” into one of total acceptance and celebration and affirmation. It’s powerful, intentional and fun. There is always a focus on being grateful for the amazing things your body can do, rather than punishing yourself for not being good enough. There is so much gratitude and love expressed in each class. Everyone walks out of class floating on a cloud- endorphins, oxytocin and love. The community formed around classes is amazing because so many people have incredible stories of how body positive yoga has been transformative for them. I could go on and on and on.